Disorganised Newbie…

So this first post pretty much sums up me. I am a disorganised mess.

I throw myself and J (husband) out of the door every morning, lucky if I have brushed my hair, unlikely to have had breakfast and more often than not by 9.30am have to send an apology to J saying something along the lines of:

“Sorry I shouted and blamed you for stealing my shoes I realise now there would be no logical reason for you to do that” and the reply is usually “that’s ok, have a good day, see you tonight”- because he is such a nice guy and fairly chilled out and over the past 10 years has got used to my erratic “morning attitude”.

Anyway… then we found out I was pregnant. Over the moon about this. So excited that our chaotic little lives are going to get even more chaotic. Excited that after 10 (almost 11) years together and after getting married last year we are going to have a little baby of our very own.

Then it dawned on us. We are going to have another human being in this messy little flat. We are going to have to be organised individuals. We are going to have to be morning people. We are going to have to do regular weekly shops. We are going to have to have more than beer in the fridge and ice poles in the freezer. We are going to have to trade our little chaotic, disorganised lives for a life of responsibility and organisation.

These thoughts scare me, so I made a list. I made a list of things we need to do to make sure our messy little nest is ready for a baby. I made a list of things we have to buy for baby. I made more lists of bills to be paid and things that were not baby related but had been ignored for so long (like the shower attachment that had to be ordered so that standing upright in the shower would be a possibility again).

And in amongst all this we had big talks about our current career paths. Both of us not willing to give up what we have worked so hard at through years at university and weeks where we wouldn’t see each other because our workloads were just too much, it sounds kind of sad but we both love what we do.

I had just completed my Masters degree when we found out our happy news, and had already secured a Studentship (funded PhD) at university. What a worry. Would I have to give up my PhD before I had even started, would I have to go look for a part-time job so we could work out our schedules to ensure baby was not left to roam the flat all by itself, is it even possible to be a student and a parent? Panic. Pure panic. Then… forever calm, forever chilled out, forever completely irritated by his calmness, J pipes up, “this will all be fine, we are in quite a good situation when you think about it”. Ok, yeah, maybe we are.

So I go and see my supervisor, nervously, to tell her my news. As usual she offers nothing but support, guidance and congratulations and agrees with J’s thinking that this may actually be an alright, workable, “situation” despite my panic.

I am a first year PhD student but I am not the first, first year PhD student who has been pregnant.

I have teaching responsibilities but I am not the first PhD student with teaching responsibilities who has been pregnant.

I am going to have a baby in 6 months time, but I am not the first woman who has ever had a baby.

I can “pause” my PhD and I am not the first PhD student to take a break from PhD studies.

I already do hours which suit me (apart from my limited teaching hours) which don’t need to change even though I am pregnant.

I have a good support network around me complete with babysitters galore, and I am not the first person to enlist the help of others in order to carry on working.

Yup, I might just be able to do this. OK so things need to change but yup, this is all going to be fine.

 

So I am going to use this blog to map my journey from disorganised mess to organised supermum less of a disorganised mess and will hopefully hear from other PhD students in a similar “situation” or at least make other PhD students feel better about their own lives 🙂

Alyson x